You can see the “love your body exactly the way it is” messages all over the Internet these days.
And that is fantastic. Heck, I’m part of the movement.
Yet more and more, I recognize how harmful and shaming this message of body-love can be if it’s not shared cautiously.
Here’s the thing:
The more we talk about getting to a place where you love your body no matter what, the more we are shaming women and making them feel like failing at yet another strategy to make peace with their natural shape.
Why? Because body-love isn’t a set-in-stone-kinda-thing, it’s flowing, ocean-like. It changes every day; feels different from moment to moment.
Body-love is about so much more than feeling oh so giddy in your body every single day of your life. {Click to Tweet}
Body-love really is about balance, about a detachment from your obsession with your weight. Body-love is about having fun in your body, not letting it rule your life. Body-love is about using your body to live the life of your dreams. It’s about acknowledging all the beautiful things it does for you. It’s a mindset more than an everyday feeling.
Yes, when you heal, you will have many, many, many, many, many days of feeling in love with your body, of being full of energy. But you’ll also have days when you’ll feel uncomfortable, ugly, blah. You might gain weight and you won’t feel the body-love. You might lose weight and, well, you might not feel it either. You will have rashes, pains, weird symptoms and you’ll have days where just about everything feels wrong.
And that’s OK.
You’re not failing as a women who’s on a body-love journey. You don’t have to be ashamed or beat yourself up because you don’t like having gained a few pounds. You don’t have to go into a downard spiral because you are too weak to even master the body-love challenge.
Now, that thought is just plain dumb.
It’s not like you’d stop loving your kids because they annoy you or do something stupid. You’ll still love them despite their behavior. And you’re not failing as a parent simply because your child is spilling his cup in the middle of a packed restaurant, would you?
Why, then, would you love your body in such a conditional way?
Coming to a place of peace and acceptance around your body, while still having some days of binging, having a fit because your clothes don’t fit, comparing with others and having low self-worth is a paradox that you have to embrace.
So, the next time you feel like you’re failing body-love, think again. {Click to Tweet}
I believe that stepping into a healthy attitude around food and your body is only possible if you can come to a place of owning the days where your body doesn’t feel too glorious or where you don’t feel that you’ve mastered your eating all that well.
If you can stop holding yourself to impossible standards and accept that you’re human, you can slowly step into a place of living instead of dieting, worrying about food and trying to master body-love.
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The thing is, emotional eating won't solve your emotional problems and instead it makes you feel awful, ashamed, trapped and fat. You can gently let go of your emotional eating attacks (I did it!) by sitting down for short mediation sessions. My brand-new CD Finally Free - Guided Meditations To Freedom From Emotional Eating will lead you towards freedom, happiness and self-love.
It’s like you know me! 😉
Discovering and rediscovering that your self worth is not the size you wear, and that you are truly a person that people love for you, not if you have gained weight, and knowing that your body is here to carry you through your day and your adventures- that is where body love is happening. YES!
Absolutely.
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